This talk was well attended by over 200 parents of the students of the School. We were thrilled to be part of this exciting event. This event was organized by the IIT School in collaboration with its industry partner Health Promotion Board.
The parents were treated to an interesting and enriching sharing of awesome experiences of counseling and the psychology of childhood and parenthood by two experts in the industry.
The first speaker is Mr Benedict Lim, who is trained in Counselling and Psychology and has been working with different groups of youths for more than 10 years in various capacities with 4 years of professional experience as a full-time youth worker and counsellor with Children-At-Risk-Empowerment Association (CARE Singapore).
The second speaker is Mr Nicholas Lim who is a registered psychologist and works extensively with at-risk youths and caregivers. He has worked with local schools and various youth and childcare organisations such as National Youth Council and Children-At-Risk Empowerment.
The speakers shared with parents on the impact of parental relationship and behaviours on youth in a talk entitled “Happier YOU, Happier YOUth”.
The speakers were engaging and we could see the burning passion in their eyes when they spoke about how the parents are a role model for the children. They told everyone in the lecture hall that children are constantly watching and recoding the behavioral traits of significant caregivers (adults). Children model themselves after the 3 Rs.
The 3 Rs are:
Responses (our reactions to situations)
Rituals (our habits and patterns)
Relationships (our interactions with others)
Children see,
Children do.
What the parents do will have an effect on how their children will grow up to be. Hence, if the parents are violent, the children will grow up to be violent too.
“Don’t worry that your child never listen to you. Worry that they’re always watching you”
By Robert Fulghum
Mr. Benedict also told us that everyone sees things differently. He showed us two optical illusions which people may perceive it in different ways.
You can see a face or the word “Liar” here.
Children will see nine dolphins while adults who have experienced adulthood will see a picture of an intimate pose here.
Why people see things differently are because of the 3 Es. They are:
Environment
- Our environment forms the parameters and scope of our world views
Experiences
- Our prior experiences shape us and mould us to form ideas and perceptions about things that we see
Expectations
- Our expectations drive us to interpret things according to how we want to see it, forming a self fulfilling prophecy.
He also shared with us inspiring quotes that the LOVE which parents show for each other, is actually the best present for their children because children will model themselves to love their future spouse.
“The Greatest Gift a parent can give to their child is to Love Each Other”
By unknown sources
“Self Care is the Greatest Gift you can give to yourself and your family”
By Theresa Bung
Lastly, he shared some commandments (no religious connotation) about how parents are blessed if they pay attention to their child by Association for Children and Adults with learning disability including:
1. Blessed are the parents who listen to their child, for they in turn will be heard.
2. Blessed are those who do not expect more of their child than is appropriate for their level of maturity, for they shall not be disappointed.
Here are sone quotes from the parents who attended the talk:
“The talk has been very beneficial and interesting for me. I have gained more knowledge and understanding on my child.”
"Very informative and helpful."
Here are some quotes from the fellow bloggers:
“The talk has made me realized that everyone is different and we should learn to embrace that.”
By Sheldon
"I have learnt that how our parents' actions would affect our view of the environment and it takes both sides to work together for a happy family"
By Danielle
"Through this talk I got to know lots of things, such as how children follow their parents footsteps and it was shown through a very interactive method through a video. I also managed to know how parents think about children in general. The speaker is articulate, and I has a great time listeing to him. Last but not least, this talk is really helpful to those who wants to understand more about parents as well as their youths."
By Raine
I hope you have enjoyed this blog post because both of us have enjoyed the amazing talk and we want to share what we feel with others.
